


Nick Fury's Crime of Fashion

by SoupShue



Series: F.A.B.U.L.O.U.S-ITY [1]
Category: The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom, The Incredibles (2004)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-23
Updated: 2016-11-23
Packaged: 2018-09-01 19:07:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,285
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8634475
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SoupShue/pseuds/SoupShue
Summary: F.A.B.U.L.O.U.S. calls on their main mentors, who discover that the Director of SHIELD is not immune to crimes of fashion. The FABULOUS foursome finally get out of the basement...and fear for their lives.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Jaune_Chat](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jaune_Chat/gifts).
  * Inspired by [F.A.B.U.L.O.U.S.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/457777) by [Jaune_Chat](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jaune_Chat/pseuds/Jaune_Chat). 



Shaking her head vigorously, eyes going slightly cross-eyed in intense concentration Vera begins yanking at hanks of her hair and muttering epithets under her breath while staring at the bolt of sea foam, turquoise, and jade swirled silk blend on her cutting table. Six other bolts of the fabric were piled up on the other cutting table having been taken out and summarily rejected for one reason or another (Grace totally understood the rejection of the frankly hideous silk that was a mix between an orange that was...hard to describe, Harold had finally come up with “Neon stewed Pumpkin" and a red that was someone's interpretation of a fire truck with a sunburn in the Sahara, why Fury had insisted on fabricating that eyesore was beyond her, but she didn't dare question the man. She valued her skull attached to her body.) Vera wailed

"This isn't going to work either! And we don't have any more bolts of the special silk in inventory!" Jay looks up from his machine over to Harold and then at Vera. He spoke with a weight and a reverence of a holy person in prayer as he leveled his gaze on Harold.

"It's time for Gunn Mode." Harold sighed, resigned. "I'll make the call."  


Half an hour later as Vera was muttering bitterly over the great Lab Accident 2009 of the Upstairs Bioengineering Department which had resulted in a beautiful prismatic variegated fuchsia, magenta, lavender, and pale blue bolt of silk that would have been absolutely PERFECT for this project, the doors to the F.A.B.U.L.O.U.S department flew open and twin voices of fashion giants spoke over Vera's shoulders

“Never look back darling, it distracts from the NOW!"

"We'll make it work."

Edna briskly patted the crook of Vera's elbow with a sharp one-two before clapping her hands and flinging them wide to encompass the workshop "All right my children, come! We must fix this!" before cracking her tape measure into her opposite palm like a whip. Grace and Vera snapped to attention, bringing her a sketchpad and a palette of charcoals and crème pastels and wheeling the mobile form closer to Edna as she imperiously settled on one of the tall three legged stools by the drafting table.

Tim's horrified gasp echoed through the space a moment later before an incredulous huff of “What are you DOING!" came from him, he was staring in horror at the red and orange nightmare of a bolt of silk. Harold whimpered quietly from behind the protection of his serger. "Fury commissioned that, we tried to say no, but he threatened to give us to STRIKE for target practice and hostage rescue drills! And then he threatened to dress everyone in ARMANI!" Tim snatched the offending bolt of fabric out of the pile on the cutting table, gingerly with the expression of a disgusted and affronted cat.

"UGH! Darling, get rid of that MONSTROSITY! Tell me who must be punished for that awful crime of fashion!" Edna shrieked, clutching her hands together in front of her face and turning up her nose.

"Edna, dearest, I have a much better idea, I say, if Fury wants this, he can have it. Harold get us the Director's measurements, and call the Widow and the Captain. We have an urgent mission for them."

The F.A.B.U.L.O.U.S designers all paled...

"We are never getting out of the basement ever again." Grace moaned into her hands.

“Nonsense my children! Now, come, look here and tell me this is not GENIOUS!” Edna declared with a sweeping wave of her charcoal pencil. On the sketchpad was a beautiful three piece suit in a loosely Eastern style, the top having a flowing vaguely kimono wrap detail in the front with a crisp jacket over it and a sharply tailored pair of slacks. The look would be scandalously bold when done in the silks that they had in stock, an eye catching statement while still screaming corporate business attire, though it was dressy enough to wear to a gala.

     “Almost perfect, adjust that line there, give the jacket a bit more structure over the shoulders.” Tim commented as he pored over Edna’s design. The pencil scratched furiously for a few moments before Tim and Edna looked at each other and nodded sharply.

“Done.” Vera screamed at such a pitch that it was impossible to hear the sound when she saw the sketch.

“Yes darling, you bring this to life, the rest of us will work on the hobo suit.” Edna murmured, a dangerous glint coming in to her eyes.

~***~

“SHARON!” Fury barked thunderously into his intercom the next morning, the speaker on Sharon’s desk giving an ominous whine at the volume.

“Yes sir?”

“Get the Avengers in here YESTERDAY! AND GET COULSON DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW!” The line went dead. Sharon heard the last roar in stereo through the closed office door and the intercom, this was shaping up to be an interesting morning.

When Phil knocked on Nick’s door minutes later, the wordless growl that bade him enter did not bode well. Even he had trouble maintaining his stoic façade when he saw what Nick was wearing. Instead of his trademark black and dark leather, he was bedecked head to toe in an outfit of blinding orange and red silk. In a bawdy seventies design, Nick looked ready to hit the dance floor in an awful knockoff production of Saturday Night Fever. Even the eyepatch was switched out. Whoever had managed this was a mastermind of tactical planning…and bound for the deepest darkest hole in Antarctica if Nick’s face had anything to say about it.

“Get me F.A.B.U.L.O.U.S. and the Avengers NOW Phil! NOW!” Fury roared.

“I’m sorry Sir, the F.A.B.U.L.O.U.S. department is currently out of the building doing some consulting work at Avengers tower, one of the flexy flex weave looms is on the fritz and Stark is helping Harold and Jay recalibrate it since all of the tac suits and cat suits use that material. Grace and Vera are fitting all of the women of the Tower including Dr. Foster and Virginia Potts with the wardrobe for the gala season coming up.

“THE GLITTER BRIGADE DOESN’T LEAVE THE BASEMENT CHEESE! WHY THE HELL ARE THEY ALL GONE!”

“You approved it Nick. Yesterday afternoon, but I will check to see how long they have left with their fittings.” Phil called up the relevant form on his tablet and handed it over to a furious Fury, luckily it was StarkTech or the case would have splintered in Nick’s grip.  

~***~

The four designers of F.A.B.U.L.O.U.S. alternated between hilarious faces of bemused constipation, rabid puppy like excitement, and pale to green faces as they watched Director Fury rant at Agent Coulson. Edna and Tim were cackling along with Tony, Clint, Bucky, Darcy, and Sam. Natasha only looked quietly amused while Steve was mildly disapproving.

“The four of you really never leave the basement?” Steve murmured incredulously looking back and forth between the screen in the living room and the four designers on the couch.

“Only for fashion week, or on very special occasions.” Grace murmured, eyes glued in trepidation to the pulsing vein on the side of Director Fury’s head.

“We’re never leaving the basement again after this.” Vera moaned.

“Worth it.” Harold gasped.

“Lady Grace, I have rent my cape…” Thor began sweeping into the common room holding the torn garment in his hands.

“NO CAPES!” Edna Mode cried.

Four groans rose up around her in stereo.   


End file.
